Destruction and creation

I've been a bad blogger.

Or maybe it's just that I've stayed put. This blog has, from the very beginning, been all about movement. I've spent several lovely months in Oxford this spring, just sort of nesting and getting settled. I really love it here.

And so I've not written.

But now I'm getting ready to leave again, this time for the summer. On the 23rd I will fly from London to Lilongwe, Malawi. It is about a 15-hour trek. I plan to spend the summer in Malawi working with my favorite charity (as they call them here in the UK, instead of NGOs - but what a loaded term!). I interned with Bola Moyo my final year in Portland, as that is where they are administratively based, and have kept in good contact with the directors, Dustin and Cara, who have become close friends of mine. I visited them and their project site in Balaka, Malawi, this past December. I remember feeling very sad to leave Malawi after just 10 days, and felt in my heart that there was a lot of work to be done there - that I, specifically, had a lot of work to do there. So now I am going back for the summer to work with Bola Moyo, focusing on expanding the adult literacy program that was just started in January. Adult education and literacy are huge passions of mine and I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to it.

That's not to say I'm completely fearless. I am scared of leaving, even if it's just for the summer. I built a life here in Oxford these past few months, with a good job and some new friends, and I've attended university-related events such as lectures and conferences quite regularly. Oxford is a really wonderful place, and I'm happy that I'm living out my childhood dream of residing here. It is a city full of inspiring people, who leave to do work elsewhere and come back, and do it all again. It's nice to know that I live in a place with residents who don't find such a lifestyle impossible or intimidating. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in such pursuits.

So this has been a very good place for me - and now I'm leaving it. I will be away from Nathan again, and away from the new friends I've made. I worry about whether my friendships can weather the storm of distance. Yesterday I spent all day saying goodbye to my wonderful colleagues at the Oxford University Press. It's strange to think I'll never walk those halls again, and probably won't see most of those people ever again.

I contemplate the destruction and creation of identity when coming and going as I have in the past year or so. It's challenging as hell, and in certain moments I'm painfully aware of the sacrifices, but I can't imagine living my life any other way right now. It's what I'm called to do, and that feeling stays with me in the most difficult of moments.

Edit: Since I've had some people ask about the ease of communication in Malawi, phone will be the best way. I'll have a cell phone that I'll likely bring everywhere, and I just checked the new Skype rates and it's only 10 US cents per minute to call Malawi. So call me on Skype, people! This would make me very happy indeed.